Did you know?

Did you know it's National Marriage Week?  

I love that, nine and a half years into our marriage, God has put us both on our own little journeys towards making our marriage a better one. I'm working through the book Feminine Appeal by Caroline Mahaney right now in my ladies' Bible study. Mark is working through Loving and Leading by Bruce Wilkinson in the guys' Bible study at church.  I'm learning to be a better wife and mother...I'm being challenged to cherish Mark and our kids in ways that I've been too tired or comfortable to do in recent years, to have more self control in the way I manage my time, and to honor the call to homemaking in the way Scripture commands, among other things. Mark is being challenged to love, invest {two things he's already great at}, and lead us.    

We've always had a good marriage, and I'd be foolish not give God the glory for that, because there have been times that it's been on the back burner and could have easily gone downhill. When you start out buying a "fixer-upper" house, have your first two kids in the first 2 years of your marriage, and deal with near crippling back problems that lead to surgery by the end of year #3, survival is about the only thing on your mind.  

We've always been good to each other. We've compromised when needed. He's been way more patient with me than I've ever had to be with him. We've laughed at each other and with each other. I could probably count the number of fights {if you could even call them that} we've had on two hands...and 98% of them were my fault. We've held each others hands through the worst pain of our lives. 

It seems cliche, but we're perfect for each other. Yet, I know, in no way, does this make our marriage immune to falling apart. Too many of them are today because we're all so darn self-centered, busy {perfectionsts and workaholics}, and materialistic, and this whole marriage and parenting game gets in the way so much more than we expected. Unless you've been living in a cave, I'm sure you've seen the statistics on the failures. As teachers and parents of kids with friends, Mark and I are all too familiar with the results of all the dysfunction. 

We're feeling a new call to work at this, alongside the Lord, like we haven't done in a while. Not only do we refuse to become one of the statistics, we refuse to be one of those marriages where we go through the motions. For us, this doesn't mean fancy dates every couple of weeks {just not possible in our financial situation}, or chocolates and flowers. "Quality time" is no good if it only happens once a week, and "quantity time" is no good if it's not quality time, too, in my book. For us, this means being present to help each other {quality + quantity everyday, if at all possible}. Asking each other how we can best serve each other. Sitting on the couch together when the kids go to bed and actually talking to each other. Setting a lot of less important things aside make sure our kids know they are loved every day by both of us. Taking the focus off of what Valerie wants to do or what Mark wants to do, and asking God what He wants us to do for Him. I pray that our next ten years are even better than our first ten because of it.