Why I'm blogging again

I had a friend tell me recently about her friend who had her blog printed off in a bound book. It was one of the things that encouraged me to actually start blogging again. I don't have time or space to put together physical scrapbooks and I don't really have the money to do a bunch of digital scrapbooking. I think it would be neat to print my blog at some point...maybe every year or two as a combo journal and scrapbook. It would be something nice to look over down the road and pass on to the kids someday if they are interested. I'd like for them to know the "tidbits, treasures, and toils" that have made our family what it is.

I also got okay with the fact that it's okay to not be known. I think when I first started blogging, part of my motivation was to have lots of people read my blog and know me. We all kind of want to be a little "famous" don't we? Even if it is in our own little world? I thought it would be fun to be known for my writing, or maybe my baking, or maybe some parenting idea I had...that I could gain some higher level of "significance" through blogging. {That might be a "stay-at-home mom do load after load of laundry, dishes, vaccuum 42 times a week, answer 780 pointless questions a day, get interrupted at least 4 times every conversation you have with your husband, lock yourself in your bedroom while talking on the phone, make 21 meals and dish out 42 snacks every week, pay bills, monitor bank accounts, clip coupons, push the "car" cart through the grocery store while no one rides in it without any type of recognition" kind of hang up, I suppose}

But, I didn't just want to be known by people. I wanted people to know why I was doing the things that I do, in order to validate my thoughts and actions in some way. {For example} A couple months ago I wanted to tell you about why we were sending our kids to public school because I didn't want anyone to think we were doing it because we couldn't handle the homeschooling. I mean, I really couldn't handle it if someone thought I was a wimp! I needed people know why we were doing it. That started bothering me.

When I quit blogging for a while, though, I was reminded that it didn't change what I did or why I did it, just because no one knew what was going on with me or in my head. I still did the same things for the same reasons and I didn't loose any sleep (well, I did loose sleep, but that was because of Levi!) because people didn't know what was going on. I know people will think whatever they want about my actions, and my blog writing is probably not going to change anything. I reminded myself that I am known intimately by the only One that matters. With all that in mind, I was able to tell you about why we are not homeschooling more as a clear my mind, if you're struggling with this same decision you're not alone kind of post.

So I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else, or if you can relate. I do want ya'll know what's going on with us, but not because I need you to feed my need for significance. I just figure maybe you want to know, just like I like to know what's going on with you guys. It's fun to have "conversation" through comments, get new ideas from each other, and participate in the "you're not alone" club together.